Monday, January 21, 2008

Everyone's Got a Sob Story and the Sigh is Always the Same.

I am a crier. I don’t hide it, or shall I say, I can’t hide it, because frankly, I cry all the time. I cry during the previews for episodes of Extreme Makeover Home Edition, I cry when I read the Pet Place section of the classifieds, I cry when I see an elderly couple holding hands, I cry about nothing at all and everything at the same time. While reading “The Metamorphosis” the other night, I found myself sitting in a plush chair at Starbucks with tears rolling down my cheeks, wondering why on Earth I was crying. Not only was this embarrassing in itself, it didn’t help that the man sitting across from me, another ‘regular’ at this particular Starbucks, felt the need to butt in and inquire about what was wrong. So there I was trying to explain to Brian, the pharmacist, that I was reading a story for school about a man who morphs into a bug, and that I had begun to cry because the bug spent four hours covering himself with a sheet so that his sister didn’t have to see him when she came in to bring him his food. This explanation was followed with a smile and a nod, and then Brian went back to work. But that is beside the point. After this humiliating episode, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was that triggered my tears.

Franz Kafka’s story, although peculiar and seemingly trivial, holds some very deep ideas. Gregor’s character represents something far more profound than just some man morphing into a bug, which seems almost humorous because of how far-fetched it is. Gregor’s metamorphosis represents his escape from the expectations of his family. For numerous years, Gregor was the money maker in the family. He worked hard at a job that he didn’t enjoy, just so that he could provide money for a family that didn’t even appreciate his hard work. Soon after Gregor wakes up to find himself as a bug, his family realizes that in order to keep their comfortable lifestyle without Gregor working, they have to take responsibility, lifting the burden off of Gregor. The story upsets me because instead of realizing how important Gregor’s contribution was to the family, instead they are disappointed in their loss of disposable income and annoyed by the fact that they have to work. It shows how greed can take the place of family values, and it is just one example of how families do not appreciate what it means to have each other around and have no understanding of the enormous contributions that each individual makes to each other's happiness.

So why did Gregor cover himself with a sheet, disrespecting himself, in order to save his sister the humiliation and disgust of seeing him as a bug? I can not be sure exactly, but I do know that Gregor’s family made him feel as though it was his responsibility to make them all happy. So when Grete was upset by the sight of Gregor, he took it upon himself to make sure that she would not have to be upset on his account in the future. I only wish that Gregor’s family would have taken the time to realize that the reason Gregor’s metamorphosis affected them as much as it did was not because they lost his income, but because they lost a caring son and brother, who was a vital part of the family and a fantastic role model.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Sometimes the Snow Comes Down in June

If Ivan Ilych were a real person, I would not be his friend. Actually, I doubt anyone would be his friend. Although both superficial and self-serving, those are not the only characteristics that make Ivan Ilych a disagreeable man. He lives his life by others’ definition of what is right. He also does not care about his family or his children and the only things he seems to put any thought or effort into are things that he thinks will impress others. Ivan follows by the rules of the game and does not listen to his own morals, that is if he knows what those morals are. By the end of his life, he has completely lost the sense of who he truly is, and what it is to be happy. He leaves the earth regretful and friendless.

Joseph Addison, an English poet and essayist once said, “True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.” Reading that quote got me to think about what Ivan Ilych thought about himself before his sickness, since the author didn’t allow us to see many of his self-criticisms. It is obvious by the end of the story that Ivan came to a realization about his empty life, but why did it take him until his lingering death to do so? He made himself believe that he was happy by focusing on material things, yet did not realize that those things do not bring happiness or life fulfillment.

Throughout his young life, Ivan did things merely because they were the social norm. He got married to a decent wife, had an ordinary family, and held a relatively high status position for a job with a mediocre salary. He bought a pretty large house, furnished it with the usual fittings and decorated it with the expected adornment. All of these things that were meant to make him (and the rest of the ‘aristocracy’) superior just made him even more average. And not only was he average, but he was lonely. By the end of the story, was easy to see that Ivan Ilych had never really loved or been loved. He married because it was the right thing to do, he had kids because it was the right thing to do, he didn’t have a sincere friend, and his work always came first. I blame this on Ivan, because in order to surround yourself with genuine people, you must be one yourself, and Ivan Ilych was not.

When first reading the story, looking down upon Ivan Ilych’s funeral, it is easy to pity him. But a man like Ivan does not deserve pity. He ran away from his problems, he convinced himself of his happiness, and faked his friendships. He was selfish, always looking out for himself, and he never worried about anything but the way that he was portrayed in the public. If Ivan would have taken a step back at one point during his life, and reflected as he did right before his death, he may have realized how pitiful his life was. Maybe in his next life he will do things differently.

Thoughts of a Slightly Confused Potential Convert

I'd like to be a Catholic,
To sail the Holy Sea.
To learn about the Cannon Laws
Like "Don't aim that thing at me".

I'll help around the chapel.
I know I can be trained,
To clean the glass that's dirty.
You know, you call it stained.

I've soldiered for this country
And guarded foreign borders
So I've no problem with a priest
Barking Holy Orders.

No, I'm no fan of gluttony.
While fasting I'll stand firm.
But there's no way you'll see me
Go on a Diet of Worms!

And when it comes to Martyrs Paste
I really don't know whether
It's used to brush the martyr's teeth
Or put martyrs back together.

I have just one more question
For which I'm at a loss
Please can someone tell me
How much a Penta costs.
- Tim Canny