English has never been one of my strongest subjects. I have a hard time becoming motivated to read, and it takes a fascinating book to keep me interested. Writing, on the other hand, I consider one part of English in which I usually excel. I have always been able to put my feelings on to paper, but usually in a private manner, like a journal. During elementary school, the beginning of middle school, and more recently, I have made a habit to keep journals, or to write down my thoughts when I feel that I need to.
With recent events, writing has become sort of an escape for me. When I become overwhelmed with feelings of loss or sadness, it helps me to write a letter to my dad. It’s a way for me to feel close to him and to let him know the things that are going on in my life, and that he is still loved. The topics and moods of journal writing has changed drastically since elementary school when I used to write. It used to consist of the events of the day, the boys who my friends and I were interested in, and what my sister did to me that day to make me mad. But in many ways, they are a lot a like. Like all writing, all the journals were a way to let out feelings that would, most other times, be kept inside.
As for reading, it does the exact opposite for me. I cannot seem to become engulfed in a book. I cannot let out feelings or emotions while reading, nor can I find comfort in learning of other lives, fictional or not. When I read my mind wanders, I am constantly thinking of other things while I am reading, and cannot pay attention to what the author is trying to tell me. This has been the same way for me since I was young, and hopefully one day, will change. I find many topics of books interesting, and am beginning to become more open to different books and authors, and finding it easier to concentrate while reading.
As for top achievements in reading and writing, every time I finish a book or finish a writing assignment, I feel a sense of achievement. Last year in history, writing research papers, although tedious and stressful, made me proud (especially when upon completion I received a good grade). And as for this year, I am excited to become a better reader, and continue to learn more about writing. English is a subject that, with maturity, has begun to grow on me, and this year will continue that. (444)
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Katelyn,
You're not the first person, nor will you be the last, to make the profound discovery that writing, especially when you're going through a difficult period in your life, can be remarkably therapeutic. In fact, I'm glad you were already a journal keeper before this happened, so that you already know about the power of releasing strong emotions into words. I'm glad to know that at least you have that outlet for all the grief and shock and confusion you must be feeling right now.
In fact, given the very private nature of many of your feelings right now, if you want to restrict the readership of your blog, and therefore of comments like this, so that we can write more candidly and openly to each other, feel free to go into the permissions tab of your blog settings and restrict your readership to me and any friends you feel close enough to to share what you're writing.
Let me know if that feels like a good idea, meanwhile thanks for an honest first entry, and let me know what small things I can do to help you get the most out of school when your mind and heart are probably not really in it.
LCC
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