The Trials of Parenting

One of the most criticized and controversial jobs that a person can hold is that of a parent. If a child turns out to be a bit rambunctious, or if they don’t get straight A’s in school, people rarely ask, ‘what is wrong with that kid?’ No. It’s almost always, ‘where are that kid’s parents?’ Parenting is a job that is misunderstood by both children and adults, and it seems like every parenting book creates a different strategy to raising the Stepford child. In “Teenage Wasteland”, Daisy is the mother of a delinquent teenager who seems to be lost when it comes to motherhood. She seeks help from different sources, all of whom seem to be pulling her in a different direction. The entire story Daisy is struggling to create a better relationship with her son and to help him become a better student and stay out of trouble. In the end she fails, not entirely because of personal fault, but by listening to the misleading advice of others.

When Daisy is first introduced to her son’s issues, it is by Mr. Lanham, the school principle. He calls her into his office to talk about how Donny was “noisy, lazy, and disruptive”, and was always messing around with his friends during class (2). Upon first hearing this, Daisy felt ashamed, and was wondering how Mr. Lanham must’ve thought she was a horrible mother. These selfish feelings appear often in the book. Daisy is worried more about the mother that she appears to be, rather than the mother that she is. Mr. Lanham’s suggestion to Daisy was to check Donny’s homework assignments every day and to make sure he did all of his homework every night. This suggestion, although it may sound like it would be successful, creates a negative outcome rather than a positive one. Yes, Donny begins to raise his grades, but he begins to resent his parents even more.

To Daisy’s surprise, she is called into Mr. Lanham’s office again only a few months later, and is told to bring her husband. During the meeting Mr. Lanham informs them that although Donny’s grades have risen slightly, he has developed some new problems. He cuts classes, smokes in school, breaks into lockers, and “during athletics, he and three friends had been seen off the school grounds; when they returned, they coach had smelled beer on their breath.” (7). It is apparent that Mr. Lanham’s first suggestion did not work, so he suggests that Donny see a psychologist and get some tests done. This is also unsuccessful, so Mr. Lanham recommends yet another idea. He tells Daisy about a tutor that has been successful among some other kids. His name is Cal. Daisy and her husband, desperate to help Donny, agree.

Cal is a somewhat young man, with the appearance of an overgrown teenage boy. He seems like he relates well with teenagers, and Daisy has hope, upon meeting him, that he will be able to help Donny. Donny begins spending a lot of time at Cal’s house, and from Daisy’s point of view, he seems to be improving. But Cal has a lot of rules, Daisy is not to interfere in any of Donny’s affairs. If the school has any problems with Donny, or if Daisy has any problems with Donny, they are to deal with Cal first, not directly with Donny. This does not strike Daisy as strange, as it would most parents. She seems like she will do anything to help Donny become more disciplined, and will listen to anyone who seems to have a solution.

In listening to Cal’s advice, Daisy stops checking in on where Donny is going, and whether the parties he attends are supervised. She retracts his curfew, and stops looking over his homework. Donny also begins going to concerts with Cal, hanging out at Cal’s house, and Cal also introduced him to his new girlfriend, Miriam. Although Daisy “was touched that Cal would grow so involved in Donny’s life, … she was also a little hurt.” (56). It became apparent to her that Donny looked up to Cal as a parent figure, and seemed to appreciate him more than he did herself, but as long as Donny was behaving, Daisy was content.

It wasn’t until Daisy got a phone call nearly four months after she had last talked to Mr. Lanham that she realized what had been going on. He told her that Donny had been expelled. This news came as shocking to her, how could Donny have gotten into so much trouble under Cal’s supervision? After arguing with Cal when he tries to make excuses for Donny, Daisy stops allowing Donny to meet Cal for tutoring sessions. She realizes that the whole time Donny was hanging out with Cal, he was not being supervised; instead he was becoming more of a delinquent. It was as though Donny had slipped through her fingers, and she no longer had any control over him. But it was not until the end of the story, when Donny runs away, that Daisy fully realizes the extent of her mistakes. Daisy had put too much hope and trust into the ideas of others, and had made herself vulnerable. The decisions that she made as a parent, although with the best intentions, are looked upon by the reader as careless. If Daisy had only listened to her own ideas, and although she may not have been the most successful mother, Donny may have turned out all right. (919)